Guess what, guess what? It's time for the Christmas COUNTDOWN!!!!!! Ha ha, no not really. That doesn't start until December because any earlier is just stupid (no offense all you Christmas fanatics, I mean I guess Santa counts down starting the day after doesn't he?). Has anyone seen the preview for the Squeaqual to Alvin and the Chipmunks? Ooooh yeah, they went there. But don't worry, it's going to have the Chippettes in it too this time. I know you were all waiting anxiously for the girls' return. Well don't you fret, they're back.
Andrew called and tried to get me to take him to China. Alas, I had to turn him down for I don't think I could have made it back for work. He then told me a story about me and Jackie Chan. Apparently we were married but got divorced due to inconsolable differences...forget that dear Jackie is like 50, I go for the older men...or so I've been told. Anyway, I went to China to find Jackie and try to fix everything and Jackie was there because he thought I'd be in China (I interrupted at this point to inquire as to why I would ever be in China when I don't speak Chinese...Andrew added in a fun fact into the story. "Blankety Blank often interrupts people's stories, that affects the story not at all, just a fun fact"). That was the end of his story...yeah it's a cliff hanger.
Don't worry all, I won't leave you anxious to find out if Jackie and I made up, I came up with an ending all my own. While in China, I met a giant Scottish man who tried to steal pencil. He broke it and bought me a new, better one and I fell in love and married him on the shores of...the beach? Yeah, I wanted mountains, but you know giant Scottish men...they think they're king of the house (they are not). Anyway, Jackie also met a nice woman. She was an Italian professor. She was closer to his age and they married and lived happily ever after for about a month and three quarters. THE END
How's that for a best seller eh? Mmmhmm. I know.
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