If owning a pencil makes you a writer, then this football makes me a football player

I try to be supportive in everyone's dreams and ideas, but I hate when I tell people about an idea I have for a story and all of the sudden they're writers and they have a great idea for a book too. Writing is the one thing I've never grown tired of. The one think I work at, take classes for and stress over. You can't just walk up to me and say, "You write? Me too! Or well...I have an idea for a story, I just haven't had time to write it out, but I have a great idea for one!"
When you tell me you're going to be a surgeon, you don't hear me saying, "Yeah? I happen to be a very good sewer, I could sew people up too." To assume that what I do is child's play is like saying you think I'm of little importance.
I read, I learn and I experiment constantly. My stories are never finished and I'm constantly looking for a way to dive into a different genre. Everything I do is to help me with my next story. Point of view, plot formation, folklore, popular culture, foreign language, television viewing, chemistry...eventually it is all tied into something for me.
These people don't do this stuff. For most of them, their knowledge on point of view doesn't go beyond first person and third person, the stuff we learned in third grade. And the idea of plot is simply rising action, climax, and falling action. Second person may as well be non-existent, metaphors and alliterations belong in poetry, and as long as they have character dialogue and throw in as many descriptive words as possible, the story's going to be great.
Subtlety is lost on them, metaphors aren't used and their description of anything is in list format instead of sprinkled throughout the story like chocolate chips in a chocolate chip cookie. no one wants a cookie where all the chips are concentrated in the middle. We call that a screw up.
Granted I tend to take metaphors and alliterations for granted. As always, alliterations are just things that happen in whatever I'm writing (and if you caught that I used it in the beginning of the sentence, then congrats).
The point is, I know how to use them and I'm fairly certain that I use them well when I do use them. Writing is an art form. You don't just pick up a brush and paint a Monet, and you don't just pick up a quill and write like Shakespeare.

When the Hell Did I Cross to this Parallel Universe and How Do I Get Back?

I was followed today by a man with a beard and he wore a dark cloak that went down to his ankles. He was whistling 'It's a Small World' and eating cherry pie. After about five minutes I finally got fed up and turned around to confront the creeper whose name turned out to be Alex...what an un-stalkerish name to have. Now Jason...that's a good stalker name. I'm just saying.
Ha ha, I'm just kidding. I haven't been stalked of late, however there had been a woman walking behind me while whistling creepily and I felt as though she were stalking me. She wasn't of course, but that's paranoia for you isn't it?
Now me, I'm the Stalking Queen and so I am insulted when someone is trying to out stalk me. Granted that was not the actual case because she was not, in fact, stalking me. Well whatever, it was fun while it lasted.
Mom's getting along with me now and I feel weirded out. Between her and Brandon I'm just not ready for this. Brandon's being nice now too and I can't for the life of me figure out what that punk wants. Mom seems to be making an attempt to take an interest in my life and I just don't know how to handle the situation. I just keep waiting for something blow up or overflow, but she just keeps saying nice things and I want to ask in the most polite way possible, "Who are you and where is my real mother?"
But hey, maybe I changed too and just haven't noticed it much. Either way, I hope I get used to these nice people because if I don't I fear I'll go insane due to paranoia.