New Year Blues

Don't get me wrong, I love the New Years Eve holiday, but I don't love being alone. Especially on a holiday that's all about big parties and being...well not alone. I mean mom and Scott and my sisters went on vacation, not that I couldn't have gone with them, but I wanted to work. And dad...well let's just say he's not an option right this moment. So since I couldn't celebrate with family, I dropped hints to friends. Well Ash isn't going to be home, and everyone else is either going to a party or hanging with family.
Is there anything worse than being alone to finish up the year? I mean Grandma and Grandpa...well they're not going to be staying up to greet 2010 with me. At the moment, I'm kind of just hoping someone walks into the house uninvited tomorrow night or something. Otherwise, I think I may just cry.

Up Then Down Then Up Again

Merry Christmas! So I had to make my google account my main one because as it turns out, yahoo has been spaming my mother with spam from me...mom was pleased with that, let me tell you. So anyways, been kind of busy what with all the wedding plans...kidding, yeah I've been doing other stuff, but there's no wedding as far as I'm aware. Going to go see Avatar today. I'll let you know if it's as good as it looks. Grandma's home, gotta run!

Re-Gifting In the Worst Way

Okay so I've gotten all but one present bought so far. I'm getting the last one tomorrow. And then I'm going into hermit mode because I'm farther than far behind on my 200 page goal for my story. I've got 36 more pages to go...that translates into about 9 pages a day until Christmas. Not happening.
Got Andrew a Vikings mug for Christmas, and what did he get me? The Coca Cola glass that I bought for him (he swore he'd pay me back, he never did...that was three Coca Cola glasses). So I essentially bought my own gift, but I didn't realize that when he first said he got me something so I went and bought him a present feeling like I should if he got me something. Basically, I bought myself a present, then bought one for Andrew. Nice huh?

Christmas Bookworm Style

So yesterday was our last day of classes before Christmas break, so my friends were handing out presents to everyone. Guess who got the coolest presents? Me! Two packs of college rule paper and three of my very favorite types of pencils. I love my friends, they know me so well. In other news, I passed my English course, took my Government exam, was accused of stealing my sister's money (now tell me how that makes sense...I have a job, she does not. I'm constantly getting her crap and taking her places...she won't even share a taco. So who's getting jipped? Her? Or me?), babysat for five hours and made $68. (that translates into$13.60 an hour) and then went to bed after complaining about my sister's nerve. It was a good day.

No Such Thing as a Stupid Question?

I believe that that saying should be re-evaluated. The other day in drivethru, this lady comes through and asks, "Is there any ice cream in the Frappes?" We think Oooooooooookay...sort of a valid question. Some of us thought they were. My friend gets on the headset and says "No, they're made with blended ice and Carmel or mocha flavoring." The lady's next question? "Is there any ice cream in the milkshakes?" ...um, yes? So then I get on the headset and say, "Yes ma'am, our milkshakes are made with ice cream." And then she orders two apple pies and a Coke! As if that weren't a stupid enough question (I'm sorry, but how do you not know that there is ice cream in a milkshake?), she doesn't even want a milkshake or a Frappe, she wants two pies and a POP!
That, my friend, was a stupid question.

Raffles Never Like Me

So I almost got conned again at work, different lady same trick. You should all be pleased to hear that she didn't fool me this time around. She didn't get money from me, no sir. Hmph. Stupid tricky people, how un-nice of them, huh?
I don't know if it's just me, but I've never had much faith in drawing and raffles because, let's be honest, you never get your name called. So imagine my surprise when I get a call today saying I'd just one a free two year membership to Lifestyle Gym! I actually won one! Isn't that amazing? Here's the thing though...I've never been to that gym, never even heard of it until today. They had the right name though because they had my cell number and my name...isn't that weird? Now I've just got to figure out what friend of mine goes to that gym...and that shouldn't be too difficult except everyone who has my number...well let's just say I don't think they go to the gym (why should they? They look fine!). Anyway, I turned down the free membership because I'm not actually going to have time for it, you know? So why not let someone else who would use it get it?
Only problem with that is that now I keep thinking I should join a gym and get in shape.
So in the end, I've come to one simple conclusions; RAFFLES ARE EVIL! They mess with your head.

That One Channel

Okay so...new favorite movie on my list. I mean The Family Stone, Pride and Prejudice, Casanova...they're all still on my list, but I am now adding on something that was on the Science fiction channel. It was an original called Alice they split it into two parts and it was amazing. Now I'm not a horrible big fan of Alice in Wonderland...I can't stand that stupid movie, but this version rocked my socks, and I'll admit that I am in fact officially in love with the Hatter.
I don't know if you're like me, but whenever I watch a movie where I fall in love with the main guy...I go from the happy high of watching it to a sulking low because I know I'm never going to find a guy like that. I mean he had an accent, he was funny, he had an accent...no one can measure up to his standards! Well...at least no one who would fall for me. Regardless, I'm now in the sulking part because he rocked my world.
This version of the Disney 'classic' is out of this world. It's got way more twists, the Queen of Hearts has a son (Jack Heart, get it?). They were sadly lacking the flower people...but they had the white knight, whom I'll admit I do not remember, but then I never enjoyed watching it so that's no surprise is it? Oh! And the white rabbit? Killed in the beginning! Made my day. He and I never really saw eye to eye...
Point of all of this hoopla is that you should most definitely switch on the telly and take a look. It's completely worth being a potato for.

Over React Much?

So I've gotten to page 120 on my story (that's 84 pages in three weeks just so you know), I'm supposed to get a raise, mom and I are getting along, three of my essays have passed in English, I heard the Hippo song (I've been waiting since Christmas music started) aaaaaaand Ryan says "It's on, and I'm not going to take an easy on you either." He's going to play Monopoly with me. It's been a good month so far.
Just as I was checking my e-mail, to see (though I didn't think she'd e-mail me) if my teacher e-mailed me about my last two papers, Andrew called. He was asking me for a favor as I was scanning through the e-mail from my teacher and then it said "you passed with flying colors". I may or may not have screamed into his ear...he thought something was wrong and was like, "Blanky (no name) what's wrong? Did you crash? Did you crash the car? What's going on? Are you okay?" Then I had a full on panic attack and was like, "I have to let you go because I'm about to cry, so yeah...I'll pick you up." And then I hung up, screamed again and hugged my sister before crying...I was worried okay? I was freaking and thinking that I wasn't going to pass so it was a big relief. My sister's response? "Don't get my hoodie all wet or I swear." Well boo to you too sis, boo to you too.

For Mom

So it's no secret that my mom and I aren't the best of friends. We argue and fight and get on each other's nerves too many times to count. I would tell people that when mom and I tried to have a civil conversations, one of us would usually end up getting defensive and the 'civil' part would be blown to smithereens. I decided early on that it was our personalities. We're too different to get one another's reasoning and thoughts, and just enough alike to stubbornly refuse to see through the other's eyes.
My parents are divorced, they have been for roughly 9 maybe 10 years. They hate each other, and I have never been able to get along with both of them at the same time. Recently, mom's decided to attempt to get full custody of my sisters (I'm going to be eighteen soon so by the time the courts come to a decision, it won't matter) and we've started talking. They're not exactly meaningful, but they're not ending in arguement either. I really enjoy not fighting with her, and I miss the times when getting along wasn't such an uncommon thing. Mom, if you read this, can you do me one favor? On the left hand side of this blog there's a link that says view my profile. Once you click that, scroll down to the bottom and under My Blogs, click on Living in the World of Make Believe. I posted something for you.

So Then I'm NOT a Liar

Okay so I texted my ex a fake forward created by moi saying stuff like most girls go for guys with ambition and a job, blah blah. I'm not going to date him again, but he could still use a job. After I sent the forward I texted, "Oops, sorry. That was supposed to go to Petra!" He called me a liar (which I fully admit I was). Here's the thing though, my sister calls him Scandal, so that's what he's under on my phone, and we call Petra 'Spatch' (long story) so when I'm sending a message to either of them and type in 7(S and P) and then a 2 (A and C) I get them both. The idea wasn't far fetched okay? But then I was talking to him last night and said "I believe you, I'm just surprised." Only I accidentally (for real this time) texted it to Petra who then went, "Believe me about what?"
See?! He called me a liar and everything and then I proved that it could happen! So there! Hmph.

I Don't See Any Cracks

So the my most recent (like there's so many that I have to clarify) ex's friend has been e-mailing me lately. He keeps telling me his friend and I were so cute together and that he hoped we lasted. I kept saying stuff like, "We're over." "We keep in touch, but I just don't see it working out." I've tried it all, you know? I haven't been completely honest and told him that the main reason I broke up and refuse to re-date his friend is because the guy's nineteen, has no job, lives with his mother, and doesn't go to school. Does that sound bitchy? Let me explain, shall I? So living with your parents is no big deal, plenty of college students do it, but he has not made one comment on getting a job, or at least not a serious one. You can't live with your parents forever, and if he doesn't want to go to college fine, but there's no future with the guy. Get it?
He thinks about now and only now, he's not thinking about what he's going to do later on. I'm mostly about the here and now, but I'm about the future too. I have ambitions, goals, dreams, etc. I want to know that he does too.
I didn't tell his friend this, what I told his friend was that I was going to college and I was working, and I didn't see how it could possibly turn out any good if we continued it when it was more than likely going to blow up in our faces. He laughed and was like, "Live in the here and now." I replied, "I do, but I like to look at the big picture too sometimes." "Well sometimes the big picture breaks." I get what he's saying, but I'm not willing to give up the possibilities I stand to lose dating his friend again if his friend isn't willing to do something with his life. So I told him, "Yeah well, I don't see any cracks." And hopefully, that's the end of that.

The Life of a Writer

So for the banner of my phone it says WWJD and then the background is the Bailout plan picture. Pretty witty if I do say so myself. I think it looks awesome. It will remain my background for at least a week. In other news, I am writing like crazy both for fun and for homework. I go to the writing lab tomorrow at one in order to get help with my two revision papers...it's going to be a blast I can tell.

When the Very World Is At Risk

So Andrew took a picture of a sign for me in front of some randome church that said, "God sent Jesus: The one bailout plan that worked" Does no one else find that the least bit amusing? Anyways, I revised one of three essays I'm working on (revision wise, I'm also working on another essay, but it's not a revision). Thanksgiving was fun, got a kiss from my cute little cousin after he yanked on my earrings. Adorable. My sister and I then told dad to either adopt or get married and have a few more. Savannah said he should adopt twin Chinese babies, a boy and a girl so that they could protect us with Kung-Fu. Then I said "No, a British baby." At which my sister laughed. It was a joke from a stand-up comedian whose name I do not recall. We thought it was funny, so we bring it up every once in a while (only her and I know what we're laughing about). An arguement soon began. She was all, "British kids aren't born with the accent, stupid." And then I was like, "Yeah well my British kid is just as likely to have a British accent as your Chinese twins are to know Kung-Fu." On and on we went. The winner is yet to be decided (*cough* me *cough*).
Oh, I ran out of paper and I didn't want to run to my moms to get some so I sent a text out...guess whose friends dropped paper off at WORK? Mine of course! Two entire packs, and they were college rule! If my friends were males I'd marry them...alas they are not so I cannot. Too bad.

When Holidays Clash

So currently on our front porch we have pumpkins, squash and gourds (thanksgiving/halloween decorations, you know) and if I'm not mistaken, a ghost. Right besides these are just recently added on Christmas lights...maybe it's just me, but I don't know that Halloween (rumored to be the Devil's holiday) and Christmas (Jesus' birthday...) are all that fond of one another so putting their decorations together can only bring about one thing; WAR. I'm curious as to the winner of this war because I can't honestly pick who would win. I mean Christmas is all about presents (AND giving) while Halloween is all about candy (AND giving...away your candy that is). Presents or candy, presents or candy...I just don't know. Who do YOU think will win this front yard battle? I think maybe Christmas (the whole Good always conquers evil...you know how it goes) but I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.
Oh! And my drawer was short $10 last night because when I thought I gave the lady the wrong change, I had actually given her the RIGHT change and she'd switched out the bills. Yeah I was conned. Pretty upset about it too. Who cheats you out of a flippin' ten man? It's ten bucks!

When Going To China, Pack A Survival Food Kit (With No FISH)

Guess what, guess what? It's time for the Christmas COUNTDOWN!!!!!! Ha ha, no not really. That doesn't start until December because any earlier is just stupid (no offense all you Christmas fanatics, I mean I guess Santa counts down starting the day after doesn't he?). Has anyone seen the preview for the Squeaqual to Alvin and the Chipmunks? Ooooh yeah, they went there. But don't worry, it's going to have the Chippettes in it too this time. I know you were all waiting anxiously for the girls' return. Well don't you fret, they're back.
Andrew called and tried to get me to take him to China. Alas, I had to turn him down for I don't think I could have made it back for work. He then told me a story about me and Jackie Chan. Apparently we were married but got divorced due to inconsolable differences...forget that dear Jackie is like 50, I go for the older men...or so I've been told. Anyway, I went to China to find Jackie and try to fix everything and Jackie was there because he thought I'd be in China (I interrupted at this point to inquire as to why I would ever be in China when I don't speak Chinese...Andrew added in a fun fact into the story. "Blankety Blank often interrupts people's stories, that affects the story not at all, just a fun fact"). That was the end of his story...yeah it's a cliff hanger.
Don't worry all, I won't leave you anxious to find out if Jackie and I made up, I came up with an ending all my own. While in China, I met a giant Scottish man who tried to steal pencil. He broke it and bought me a new, better one and I fell in love and married him on the shores of...the beach? Yeah, I wanted mountains, but you know giant Scottish men...they think they're king of the house (they are not). Anyway, Jackie also met a nice woman. She was an Italian professor. She was closer to his age and they married and lived happily ever after for about a month and three quarters. THE END
How's that for a best seller eh? Mmmhmm. I know.

Miss You Long Time (little humor there...)

So work was fun today. Listened to "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble and I've gotta say that I absolutely love the song. But back to work...there's a customer that comes through about twice almost every day and I'm always there when he comes through the second time because I work nights. Unfortunately I was not at work last night when he came through, and I guess he told Ashley who was working to tell me I need to work more day and he missed me. Now he's an older guy in his 40's and not some cute high schooler, but it was funny to me. He came through again tonight and told me about it and how it was just wrong without me to hand him his food. Then he asked if I'd gotten my ACT scores back yet. I have not...
I did get my first English essay back. It was AP (Almost Pass) and I was told I should revise it and make it pass. I am not enthusiastic about that particular idea. I'll do it sooner or later. First I need to take my placement test for PSO next semester and look for a few more scholarships...and finish my latest essay. Then I'll get to work on a revision. I'm just not fond of that particular paper and I don't want to revise the stupid thing. I'll get to it though.
Let me leave you with this; go watch The Ugly Truth it's a hoot (ha ha, no really, it's actually quite good).

The Funny and Fabulous

Got a car, or mom's boyfriend got me a car. They irritate me often, but this car is really great and I really appreciate it. It's got a mattress in the back for...well okay I can't say I'm entirely sure what I'll ever use it for, but I'm keeping it for the fun of it. I've gotta go catch up on every possible thing, just thought I'd mention that.
Oh, and Andrew called for no apparent reason with a "Hey darlin' what's up?" And then told me when Michael comes over he's probably going to call me so he can hear Michael say, "Hey pumpkin!" I know...they're weird. But hey, they make you laugh right?

Real Men Wear Pink Aprons

Like my exceptionally awesome father who put on grandma's pink apron. Don't worry, I took pictures and sent it out to friends for laughs. He wasn't nearly as amused, but man did he look funny. Not only that, but he was wearing women's pants the following day...my pants. Granted they were too big (waayyyy too big) for me, but they were mine and I do not feel comfortable sharing my pants with my father.
In other news, my English teacher cancelled class...again. It is now officially starting to piss me off. I like her and everything but she lacks organizational skills and follow through...both of which I also lack, but then I'm not planning to become a teacher now am I? No. I'm not.
Let's think about the necessary qualities it takes to do our dream jobs before we decide to become a professional in that area, shall we? If you aren't good at getting things done on a schedule, don't teach. If you can't spell don't be come an editor. If you can't ride a horse, don't give horse back riding lessons. Quite honestly, I want to know why the 'back' part is needed in that title because what other part of the horse are you riding? 0_O Think about this stuff guys, it's not rocket science (and unless you love science, don't become a rocket scientist).

Two Stubborn Idiots Walk into a House...And the Police Get Called In

So yeah, my dad called the cops on my sister. I've gotta make this short and sweet, but he should've just left her alone. Now she's just going to mope all weekend. Super! You don't even want to know the entire story.

How to Unask A Question

So I get a text last night from a fellow employee, blah blah blah. You don't care, I'm not dialoguing the entire conversation. Basically all I want to share with you is that I mentioned that I wanted to go to the movies today, and somehow he translated that into I wanted to go on a date with him...I don't know how "Finally got a Friday off. Wanna go see a movie tomorrow. I doubt I will but hopefully..." translates into that, but then again, I thought 'green hammer' instead of 'red hammer'. You won't get that unless I explain about the e-mail. Maybe I'll post it on here and you guys can comment on what it says about you.
Don't worry about the guy by the way, he uninvited himself (after he sent me into a panic attack where I texted Andrew "YOU'RE a guy! How do I unask someone I never asked out out?"). So if I go to the movies, it won't be with him. I no that was a major concern for you.

The Answer Is...False

Okay so I was sent a forward text on how to know if a boy (or girl) likes you. We've all gotten these stupid things right? And do they ever help one iota? No. But if you're like me, you read through it anyway for whatever hope that something will magically happen. This time as I was reading it and it just made me angry. Go through this checklist with me will you?

If a Guy Likes You;

• He stares at you a lot (I mean he looks at me a lot, stares if he thinks something wrong, but I'd say no, damn)
• Uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation. (He does that, other guys do that...I swear it's just how they think)
• He mocks you to make you laugh (Yeah...everyone does that, I hardly think that's key)
• He calls you cute or pretty and it makes you smile (does adorable count? It makes me feel like a five year old when they smile and say "you're so cute/adorable!" What the hell is that?)
• He calls you hon or babe. (One guy calls me sweetheart and another calls me dear or darlin'...they both have girlfriends..I think)
• He worries about your problems along with his (He does that, but he worries about everyone, I mean it's just how he is)
• He is protective
• He is always close to you (Nope)
• He looks straight in your eyes (That's how you have a conversation...)
• He listens to you and remembers what you say (Yes, there are quite a few that do that, conversation is not 'i love you')
• He takes pictures of you even when you say you hate it (No, and he's damn lucky he doesn't because I'd kill him)

So see, he does a majority of those and he has a girlfriend. That's all bull. And don't even get me started on the if a 'girl' likes you.

• She steals your things so you will chase her(Um...yeah no, no I don't steal anyone's things...unless they're a friend and we're messing around)
• She's always smiling (Um...yeah usually, but not because of him)
• She says random things so you will pay attention (I do that to everyone...it's what I do)
• She hugs you (no, he hugs me...I usually try to pull away. I love hugs and all, but I feel weird doing it)
• She stares at the sky thinking about you (Nope, I stare at the sky thinking about what to write about and what I'm going to do to get to the next day).
• She complains about her hair and makeup and clothes, etc. (Again...no, I don't usually wear makeup, nor do I bring it up in front of him)
• She makes her attraction to you obvious....I certainly hope not

See what's wrong with this? Maybe it's just me, but none of that applies! Hey, maybe that's why I never date...eh.

I'm sick today, can barely speak and I had to have my dad call off work for me because I apparently cannot call off myself. The only time I've ever called off and I have to deal with that crap. Well whatever, it's not like I want to miss work, I feel horrible knowing they were counting on me to close today, but there's nothing I could do about it unless they don't mind me whispering to the customers over the headset and screwing up orders because of it. I could do that, I shouldn't handle food though, what with all the coughing and the "I wanna throw up and die" outlook. Whatever, I don't stay sick long. It'll be back tomorrow...hopefully.

Yeah, if Kittens Were Killers

So I lost my voice yesterday at work...in the middle of an order and it wasn't even a little lost, it just disappeared! Then the manager goes, "Why are you talking like that?" Umm, I don't know, it sounded like fun? What the hell?! I got it back, but it's going in and out like A.M. radio. Flippin' sucks. I've never lost my voice and now it wants to leave me like my pencil?! What am I supposed to do with no voice and no pencil? That's all I have to entertain myself with! My friends find this all utterly fantastic.
What's worse? No ride home from school at ALL this week, and I life a good 45 minute bike ride (so what's that, 2 hour walk?) from the school, and it's cold outside, and I'm already sick. Yeah...you do the math. I'm going to die this week! The only possible outcome of all this!
Getting away from the 'I'm dying, so you'd better get your fill of me now before I'm dead and gone' topic, someone from work gave me his number last night.
I don't flirt, I don't get hit on, and I don't date, so I don't know if it's a friendly gesture or a "I like you, wanna go out?" one. Help? He wrote it on a paper towel, just his name and number, no side comment or anything. Just handed it to me and said, "Put it in your pocket."
What am I supposed to do with it? I'm worried he likes me and I'm leading him on, or he'll think that all my freaking out means I like him and he doesn't really like me so it'll get all awkward...phew, guys are so complicating.
I mean I did call his face beautiful last night, but I used air quotes as in. "Adam makes me want to punch him right in his 'beautiful' face all the girls seem to like so much." Wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been standing right behind me when I said that. And apparently, he didn't catch the air quotes...yeah.
How else did last night suck? The maintenance guy, Jeremy and the grill guy Craig that I closed with yesterday wouldn't stop 'messing' with me. So I yell at Craig and he takes a step back and Jeremy goes, "Don't mind her, she doesn't bite. She's about as ferocious as a kitten." WHAT?! I am too ferocious! Why is it they always say, "You're so adorable, you couldn't scare anyone," like it's a compliment? I could scare someone! I am scary, they'll see.

We Are Gathered Here Today to Mourn the Loss...

The cat chewed up my favorite (*cough*only*cough*) pencil and now I have absolutely nothing to write with. Do you know how frustrating that is for me? What am I supposed to do all day when I can't write? How am I supposed to do homework? "Um...you don't do homework." I hear, well no, but that's beyond the point. If I wanted to do homework,I can't now.
Also, I'm trying to find ways to make some more money for college next year, a car, a book case, the third season of Psych (come on, who doesn't like that show?) Any ideas for me? Keep in mind I'm seventeen for a few more months, so I can't really get a full-time job, or work more than 20 hours a week (a rule that I seem to continue breaking). I was thinking of maybe selling my soul, that's gotta be worth something right? Well it was a thought...

What It Takes to Win Me Over

So this guy came through drive thru today with his (assumingly) wife and kids. "You're not going trick-or-treating?" he asked. I laughed and said, "Man I wish, I was really hoping for some kit-kat bars." Then I turn and get him his change and when I give it to him he hands me a kit-kat bar and says "Happy Halloween"
I'm in love with a thirty-ish year old who came through drive thru and gave me a kit-kat. I LOVE kit-kats! And reeces, but seriously, that was not what I was expecting. Five stars to the man in the truck with the candy that may or may not contain date rape (I sincerely doubt it, I mean how was he going to benefit from that? I was working). I only mention that because Stefan told me not to eat it...I did because it was a kit-kat bar and well worth the risk. I also informed my friends I was getting married. Andrew wants to throw a bridal shower...I do not want a bridal shower, I want to go trick or treating.

Just Call Me Einstien

Hey! I just had the (almost) best idea I've ever had in my (lies...all of them) entire life! What would you all say to a little Q and A?
Mmhmm...yeah so I'm bored and I'm looking for something to do. Here's the deal, you ask questions, I'll answer, I'll ask questions YOU answer!
Yeah, I don't see this working either, but it's worth a shot. I'll go first. Would you ever go skydiving? Why or why not?
**For the record, I think it'd be fun...once you pushed me out of the plane and I landed on the ground...**

That Boy...

So I felt sick yesterday and I'm a horribly miserable sick person. I don't get sick often so that's not usually a problem. Unfortunately at work yesturday, I felt sick, and I was absolutely miserable. Everyone was trying to get me to smile, watching me, trying to figure out what was wrong, and I just wanted to go home. I got off and fell into a seat after finding myself a ride home. Mom picks me up, I drag my feet and walk out, then go straight to bed.
Before I fell asleep, I texted Andrew the following; "I'm fine I just don't feel well. Tell everyone to stop looking at me like I'm going to go jump off a cliff."
He texted back and I think he might be mad at me for getting irritated with everyone. "We just care for u ok?"

Like it's my fault that I don't like dealing with people when I feel sick. I'm sorry, but I am not the nicest sick person. He's lucky I wasn't really sick, I mean like throw up, sleep all day sick. The sicker I am the more emotional I get. If it's just a sore throat, sore eyes, and a headache, I'm miserable and antisocial. If it's any worse I'll start crying and become completely intolerable. No need to get mad at me for it. Hmph

Car Accidents 101

So I ran into the back of a semi/truck yesterday with the Honda Civic (2002 if you were wondering). Yeah, no longer drivable. The front end is smashed. Translation? No car to take me to work and school...yeah, you see the problem don't you?
Mom seems to be convinced that I was putting on eyeliner in the car and that's why I wrecked, but seriously? Yeah okay so I had eye liner on, and it was on the floor of the car and the visor was down with the mirror open. So the evidence seems a little damning right? Right. But I don't really ever wear makeup so why would I suddenly feel the need to risk my life for it? What happened is I stopped at grandma's where I had left my eye liner, mascara and eye shadow (I don't really ever use the stuff so I never got around to picking it up). While I was there I saw it in the bathroom, decided to put it on because, hey, why not? Then I put it in my pocket so I wouldn't forget it, grandma took a picture of my hair, and I went back to the car to head to class. Small pockets=uncomfortable when full so I took the makeup out and set it in this little thing between the seats and left.
As I was slamming on the breaks, I remember thinking, "Shit, there's no way I'm going to stop in time aaaaaaaaaaaand---bam---I was correct." I sat there thinking, "Shit mom's going to kill me" and then I turned around because, you know, my folders were in the back seat and I wanted to make sure they were okay. No one ever believed me when I said those were some of the most important things in my life, now I have proof because they're the first thing I checked on. So I started crying because I wasn't going to get to school on time, mom was going to kill me, and well...what the hell was I supposed to do? It ruined all my plans for senior year like taking college courses.
The truck guy starts to walk towards me and I pull down the visor and open the mirror to try and fix that stupid eye liner that I never should have put on, and during the impact the eyeliner fell to the floor.

So see? It can all be explained. Why I'd put makeup on in the car is beyhond me, but I guess if that's what she wants to believe...

Why Don't I Do That More Often?

I chopped a good chunk of my hair off yesterday...or rather, someone with a license to cut off hair did. Really short in the back, longer in front, especially longer on my right side to kind of hang over my eyes. The longest piece barely reaches my chin.
It looks cute if I do say so myself (and I do). Granted I haven't had to style it yet so who knows, maybe I'll shave it off in frustration later. Lady said it brought out my cheek bones, but to be honest they don't need to be brought out since they seem to do that fine on there own.
Everyone likes it though, I stopped by work to show a friend, and then went over to Andrew's (you know, that guy I work with) to show him.
I don't have many male friends for the simple reason that they make me uncomfortable and I don't know how to act around them. Anyway, I go over there and I see Andrew and Ryan, two guys that I am slowly becoming comfortable around, though I still don't want to just go hang out (I forced myself to yesterday, turns out I don't like being called a coward, even if it's in my head). They are not the only guys there unfortunately, there was Daniel, a freshman who seems like one smart cookie (I like him, he's not intimidating, but he's smart) and then there were two others. The only reason I was able to make myself stay was because for the most part, all but Ryan and Andrew were easily deemed 'kiddies' in my eyes, and that always makes me feel better.
I stayed to watch them play football (yeah, that killed), and went in to eat pizza. Right away Andrew's mom rushes forward and goes "Are you 'blankety blankblank'?" (ha ha, did you really think I'd tell you my name?). Awkwaaaaaard. I kind of laugh and nodded she shook my hand and starts talking to me, someone else comes up and goes, "So then I take it you and Andrew are dating?" Shocker....I said no, and I'd have been outta there if Andrew had heard.
I could go on all day giving you the skinny, but bottom line is that by the end of 'dinner' I was feeling pretty confident. I mean around my friends (my female friends, let's face it, I can count on one hand the number of male friends I have) I'm confident and everything. I crack jokes, I'm sarcastic, I'm me. This was different though. I still wasn't comfortable enough to do much of that, but with Ash and everyone I call attention to myself by being obnoxious, I get what I want without feeling awkward, and no one calls any attention on me.
With all of them I was kind of trying to stay off the radar and they're all, "No, no that's ______'s seat" and "Hey man, ladies first!" and "You've got cool hair, but man no one can beat ______'s" and possibly the best of all was the "I lie all of the time, for instance, ______ you're ugly. That's a lie, now here's the truth _______ you're beautiful." Que my even more red face and, "Ha ha, thanks." And then Andrew's offended, "I say that all the time and you look at me like I'm a creeper!" "Because you only say it right before you ask her to take you to Taco Bell" (Ryan) "I agree with him." (Me) "That's not true, you guys are making me look bad in front of my mom." (Andrew).

So I left there feeling good about myself, I mean we're friends so I don't expect, "You're ugly." But there's no need for the compliments, and I don't know how to respond with so many. To be honest I've never really found myself that pretty, I mean I never thought I was drop dead ugly, but it's nice to hear. So the question remains; why don't I do that more often?

It's Not Me, It's You...Wait

So the guy I like likes another girl. Poor me (sarcasm for those of you unfamiliar with it's use). Let's get real, right? I mean it's not like I ever make it obvious that I like a guy, if anything I treat him like he's a friend I find annoying (which, is also true...I do find him annoying), and it's not like I believed something was going to come out of me liking him, you know?
I never once (okay, so there were those momentary, "Maybe he does like me" thoughts, but I always nipped those in the bud) thought he returned the feelings, nor did I think we were going to fall in love and get married. I've given up on that dream...for me anyway.
I heard him talking about it and even though my first thought was, "Well damn" it's not like I went into severe depression or anything, in fact I've been in a spectacular mood all day/night. Let's be honest, I knew, just like I always know when I get a crush (and to be fair, my crushes are like my game addictions; obsessed for a week, interested for a few months, forgotten by the end of the year) that it was a one-sided deal, so it didn't exactly break my heart.
What's that you say? If I'm not upset, then why am I talking about it? Don't be so cold hearted!
I have a tendency to do this thing when I don't care about something. If I don't care about something, I start thinking about it, and then I start to feel like I should, like there's something wrong with me because I don't, and then I twist whatever it is into something that does upset me, and I sit quietly, waiting for someone to inquire about it.
When they don't inquire, I work myself up into a major malfunction and break down. Granted, I fix myself up pretty quick, but I prefer to avoid break downs whenever possible. You understand. So in this case, I've just entered the, "I don't care, but it brings up another good point." And the good point it brings up? What the hell is wrong with me?
I don't need a boyfriend, let me just say that now. I can take care of myself, and I am usually content with whatever happens to have caught my attention for the moment, but--and yes there is a but--what is wrong with me? Why don't guys show an interest? Why do I never get asked to a dance (even if I always say I don't want to go to the stupid thing)? Why does no one ever ask me out on a date?
Don't get me wrong, I'd freak the hell out if they did, and probably say no because I've never been on a date, and what do you even do on those things? It's just that I want to know someone's interested, that I'm not some crazy girl, no one wants to date.
And the guy I like? Well I can say this without fearing he'll read this, because he doesn't know I have this blog. All today he kept telling me I was adorable, and it made me so flippin' happy. Sure people call me adorable...when I stomp my foot in irritation, or get really angry over nothing. They're all like, "God, you're so cute/adorable when you're mad!" And I laugh, act angry and say, "I'm not five, therefore it is not a compliment to call me adorable." But when a guy says it, when for once just once a guy actually looks at me and says I'm adorable, even when I know he doesn't like me, and I know he doesn't mean 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous' because besides gay friends, guys don't tell me that.
I play it off and tell him he's being stupid because I look just the same as I always do, but I like it. So it's not that I'm upset that he has a crush on someone else, it's that I'm upset that I'm never that girl.

Anyway, I had to vent, and it's not something I want to go explain to friends...especially the part where I admitted I wanted to go to a dance. So you were my only option. I'm sorry you were so bored you actually read this. Peace!

What Happens At Work...Stay's There?

So after that horrendous night at work, I had thousands of packets of jam fall all over Sunday night, a couple of other things, and then last night I spilled tea everywhere and the shake machine broke on me. So yeah...it got worse.
I'm like a walking bad luck magnet, but it's funny as heck when you think about it so I guess I don't mind all that much. Now I've just got to look for scholarships, a car, and a good luck charm.

What Is Fun Really?

You haven't had fun until you've dropped nearly $100 in coins (that's right, COINS) onto the floor of McDonalds--or any fast food place really--and had to crawl around on the floor picking every single one up...to the last penny. Oh yeah, best time of my life right there. To make it worse? I then proceded to spill a large coffee, get mustard on me (yuck), get fudge all over my pants, and nearly drop a medium fry no salt (which would have meant having the people wait an additional three minutes while we remade their fries).
Last night at work? Let's just say I hope tonight goes better...a lot better.

Not Addicted...Just Slightly Obsessed?

To Harvest Moon. My sister made the mistake of letting me know that she had one of the newer versions...I may have taken it. But you know, it's a fun game and I've just met the love of my LIFE on there. His name is Vaughn, he told me to go away (I was distracting) and so I'm going to marry him. 'Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness' Get it. Play it. Love it.

When The Going Get's Tough, We Tough It Out (or Curl Up in a Ball and Die)

Okay, so I've applied to college, I'm taking the ACT on the 24th, I'm working hard, and I'm freaking about my English paper. That's responsible right?
Well I'm working on it, way to be supportive. I mean come on, I'm probably the most irresponsible person I know (besides Andrew, but he's in a world all his own so I don't think it's fair to count him) and I've been working really hard (okay, so maybe not really hard, but a half-serious effort. That counts right?) to 'perfect' myself in that particular area.
Like even though I wanted to get far far away from here for college, I came down to earth and realized that since I have to pay for this, I should go in state, close to home. That was a step in the right direction if I do say so myself. As soon as I get accepted (hopefully) I'll start applying for the scholarships that apply to me, and I'm working without complaint and paying what I owe as fast as possible.
I'm looking into checking accounts, and I'm taking out like $5 spending money because of the money I owe. I'm being realistic, and I'm having nightmares that I am fairly certain will not stop until I'm out of college (and even then I can't be sure).
The only thing I think I still need to work on is my need to spend, my lack of self-restraint, my procrastination, my studying habits, and that whole 'mind over matter' thing.
He he...did I say the only thing? Well okay but I have a plan, so that counts too right? I'll work on restraint and the 'mind over matter' and the need to spend first. By showing restraint in what I want to eat and do I cut back spending while making me a healthier person (ideally). By practicing mind over matter I'll start working out, and getting in shape.
Basically, by the time I graduate I hope to be healthy wealth and wise...or at least healthy, smarter and not in debt....or just healthy works.
Man, something tells me senior year is going to be the school year from hell...better go find the ladder, or I may never get out of the hole I'm digging.

When the Flash Backs Start, You Know It's Bad

So my friend, one of the best in the world is going through a divorce (her parent's divorce). Divorce just sucks with a capital S-U-C-K-S. She isn't the kind of person to...relay her feelings, but she's not talking to her dad. They keep telling me not to get involved. "Don't push her." "It's her choice" "Just try to stay out of it."
I know they're probably right, that it's not something I should really get involved in, but I just see what she's going through and have a major flashback on the worst time of my life. I can't just let her go through even a small portion of what I had to go through. I'm not going to pretend I know it hurts more when you're young and you don't understand because I don't think that's true at all. It hurts no matter what, who cares who hurts more?
She's not speaking to him, she's so angry with him. I remember not shutting up, I remember screaming at him, I remember my heart breaking every time we fought. I remember not trusting him, being so hurt, being so furious, hating him for what he did. I remember looking for a fight in everything and how much it fucking hurt.
She's not screaming, she's not crying, she's probably not even really hating him, but she's angry and I don't want her to have to go through all of that. I don't want the divorce to ruin their relationship.
God I wish I could have prevented her heartbreak. I'm no psychologist, but I think that's part of the reason I always put guys under the 'friend' label. That way, even if we date and break up, they never had my heart and I can get over it no worse for ware. I wish I could stop doing it, I wish it would hurt sometimes, but it never really does.
That's not the point right now, we can talk about how screwed up I am (psychologically of course) some other time. Right now I wanna know how to keep her from going through any more of it.

FICTION...it's in the URL.

So it has come to my attention that some people are reading this blog and taking to heart everything that it says. In fact, they're questioning my honesty in real life based on things I've said in the blog...one of the reasons that I never mentioned my name is because I figured this would happened. It has...
While running the risk of repeating myself, I'll say again that while the entries I make on this blog contain some factual information, they aren't 100% truth. So for those of you who believe what you read no matter what, might I suggest you cease and desist? STOP reading my blog if you believe everything I write.
I may feel the need to test your logic, be warned.

What I Didn't Tell Them

So Michael and Andrew were in the car yesterday talking about 'lost loves'. They went on and on about the person they had love (different person for each of course) and how said person broke their heart. I was depressed yesterday so I just listened and didn't say anything. It's not like I can participate can I? I never had a guy break my heart, I never fell in love. I wouldn't understand it.
They got quiet just before we got to Andrew's house to drop them off, and what I wanted to say, I kept to myself. I didn't tell them that whenever I found myself fantasizing about a guy that wasn't imaginary, I worked damn hard to get that person in the 'just friends' spot. I may have never fallen in love, but I've had my heart broken.
I'm not going to go into the whole 'poor me, my parents divorced' thing, but they did divorce, and it did break my heart.
I want more than anything (almost) to fall in love and get married, but I don't see it happening. I never want to experience that feeling again. It hurts like hell.
So what I didn't tell them was; "I don't fall in love, because I've felt the impact of finally hitting the ground, and I don't want to experience it again."

Failure With A Capital U (Look At How Confused That Made You!)

So I just started a new story, 'If All Else Fails', the beginning of which I posted on my other blog; livingintheworldofmakebelieve.blogspot.com
It is loosely based on my life, loosely as in yes I had the late night McDonald's conversation and yes I hang with friends before class is canceled, and yes I have a friend who is incapable of answering her phone (and there's a good chance she's reading this, and I dare her to comment her denial...go on I dare you), and yes I am being 'seduced' by a guy from an alternate world.
One of those is false, I'll let you figure out which one. So basically, the realistic parts of the beginning are based on real events, the rest of it? Yeah, it's from the land of make believe.
It's only Monday and I'm ready for this week to be over. Am I alone in that thought?
By the way, if you want to make yourself feel better, might I suggest going to fmylife.com?
Stands for "Fuck My Life" funny stuff there, check it out.
Ta ta, I've got a story to obsess over.

Too Long, Too Short, Too Damn Time Consuming

So I spent twenty minutes trying to put my hair up for work because one of the managers said it was too long. "Too long?" I hear you laugh, "Just put it in a ponytail!" You think it would take me twenty minutes to remember there was such a thing as a ponytail? It's too SHORT for a ponytail, I can't get it in one. "So try pigtails, drama queen." you laugh? No, too SHORT for pigtails.
So I had to use bobby pins, do you know how many bobby pins it takes to keep short, thick hair up? Too many that's how many, like twenty. And it still won't stay because let's be honest here, bobby pins are useless by themselves. My hair was still down so I got yelled at again for ignoring her 'warning'.
Where is the solution to all this? Get a friggen haircut obviously because I can't deal with that crap. I don't spend time on my hair besides drying it because it dries funky. It's B.S. and I'm chopping it off again...

Where Have All The Good Guys Gone?

Ash spent the night last night after work, and we watched Psych. She's out there watching Step Brothers which is the stupidest movie I've ever seen in my life. I can't sit and watch that thing through it's that stupid.
I've got to find a way to chop my hair off again. It's officially too long to wear down at work, and too short to go into a ponytail or pigtails. Dude, I'm going to go play Zelda on the Wii.

Leave the Folders? I Say Nay

So after work today the guy who closed with me on grill walks out to my car and says, "Do you smoke?....Oh! You're seventeen, you're not allowed to smoke, never mind. I was going to offer you a cigarette but you're too young." He then takes this as an invitation into conversation which I will admit, it was partly I guess.
But he starts talking about dope and how it's okay as long as it doesn't control your life, he has bisexual tendencies but he would never 'bang a guy' (his words not mine), drinking it more dangerous than dope, I shouldn't become addicted, I seem like a quiet girl; do I like to party? It went on and on and on, and I'll admit I found him pretty cool...despite the fact that he smokes, drinks and does dope. He's my kind of guy, that guy (who is twenty in case you were wondering).
So then he left, saying he didn't want to keep me from getting home...the conversation lasted a half an hour.
BEFORE that though I had a cute guy on a motorcycle behind me on the way to Ash's for the football game party...half of us (not me) are in the band, so we hang out before games...I always try to make it. So as he was behind me, I really wanted to pull over and ask him to give me a ride. I didn't though because then what would I do with my folders? I couldn't leave them in the car.
Ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend...he says anyway. If this is a way of making me jealous...it's not working because I don't care. That should be awesome, but shouldn't I care? I think maybe there's something not right about me....

Thou Shalt Not Kill

Man I finished both Government AND English....so it wasn't my best effort but I'm fricken tired so it'll have to do. Now I just have to wait for tomorrow, and my first day back to work since suspension.
Went to dinner at Taco Bell with two gay guys and Andrew....it was awkward. First because I was the only girl. Second because I'm not good with guys, they make me nervous. And Third because I felt left out so I took to reading the sauces. Speaking of which, will you marry me?
Ha ha ha....
Yeah, I'm going to go write before I'm killed in my sleep by an unhappy murderer.

On James Madison and Other Essays

So I've been waiting all weekend for my English teacher to get back to me so I could fix my essay which is due Wednesday (and she wants us to work on this weekend once we get her comments) but I haven't gotten a single message from her...makes the assignment slightly more challenging wouldn't you say?
She's not the only tough assignment this weekend though, my Government homework is difficult too. I have half of it done, but I don't understand what we were supposed to read, so I can't imagine my answers are right so far. *sigh* This college thing is more challenging than I thought.

Grandmother What An Empty Wallet You Have

So grandma's asked if our team won the game last night about fifteen times today, and grandpa's just been watching t.v. We did win, we kicked the other team's ass, I think they got one touch down or whatever. I don't know, we left during half-time.
My sisters, two of our cousins, grandma and I went to see Tyler Perry's; I Can Do Bad All By Myself. It was an awesome movie, just as funny as the rest, and just as much of a lesson. Now I've gotta go talk grandma out of taking them all to walmart for 'breakfast food'. If they asked her to buy them each a horse she'd find a way. *rolls eyes* Drives me and Savannah nuts with all her spoiling.
Hey! How was Psych last night, do you know? I didn't get to see it, but I'll catch it tonight, on that you can trust me.

Murder is a Sin, but God is it Tempting

My sister is once again the reason for my less than prompt appearance at our high school's first home game. I don't like football, but my friends are in the band, and we're going up against my cousin's school...so I decided to go. But the game starts at 7 and she won't be home until a quarter til...it takes 10 minutes to get to the high school, but you all know how the parking is so close to the start. It's going to be a bitch, and I'm going to be late, and that's going to piss me off.
Did I mention that she made me 15 minutes later to the movie on Wednesday? No? Well she did...I missed the beginning and then she went on and on about how bad of a driver I am.
The only thing stopping me from killing her is mom's "No blood spilled on the carpet" rule.
Well at least I got to go to my friend's house before the game and hang out with everyone. I haven't seen much of them lately.
Off I go to sulk and curse little sisters. Have an enchanting Friday night.

What's a Wee Lass Want With a Huge Scottish Man?

First, I'm not wee, and if some giant Scottish guy called me wee I'd punch him...even if it probably wouldn't hurt him at all. Second, I've been reading Scottish romances lately and maybe it's what all girls want, but the idea of a nearly seven foot monster of a man, feared by all, dangerous as hell (and maybe a few violent tendencies...not towards me of course), with a Scottish accent is heavenly.
Think about it, it'd be awesome arguing with him, he could pick me up (though if he did, I'd probably get very angry and slightly violent myself), lock me in a room (I'd get out) and order me around (not that I'd listen...I'm a poor listener). It'd be awesome.
Okay so yeah, I may have been reading a bit too many 16th Century Scottish romances, but doesn't he sound spectacular? I wouldn't say dreamy because it's a gag worthy word. Man, the idea of someone like that liking me and arguing with me (so I like arguing, it's not a fault! It's invigorating) and trying to control me (I'll admit, I enjoy it when someone tries to boss me around and defying them...especially when they like me all the better for it)....that's what I want.
Find me a Scottish man and I'd love you forever! *sighs* Oh if only dreams came true.
Of course I know it'll never happen, but a girl can hope can't she?

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Suspension

Yes, suspension. I was suspended from work for the upcoming weekend for a drawer shortage. A shortage of $21 to be more exact. No I did NOT take the money you unfaithful reader. I don't know what happened to it, but on the bright side, I get the weekend off right?
So yeah, it's not exactly vacation, but the manager who called knows I didn't take it, and says to just be careful next time. No harm no foul...though I don't think that applies.
We're going to go see G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra. Wish me a safe trip.

Cross Off My Vacation Time, I Beg of Thee

Mom wanted to take me to a Safe Driving Seminar, and she asked me to take off work for it....I begged the manager to have me work that day. By the way, oyster babies are known as spats. Didn't you find that interesting?

I was mugged walking home from school today, he took my favorite book. We chased after him with my friend's pepper spray and tackled him to the ground. I got my book back and he went to jail for murder.

Ha, just kidding. I'm completely bored.

The Proper Conduct of a McDonalds Employee

Is not in fact attempting to climb through the drivethru window. Andrew tried that today as he carried my purse across the parking lot. I had jokingly told him to go get it and I'd buy everyone a sundae...he went and got it.
He then waited a good ten minutes after he got off for me to BUY him a sundae. The kid is truly unbelievable. The way he is with food is enough to make anyone laugh. He's wasted about $80 on fast food alone this week, and he's not even fat. I tell you, the world is not fair.
One day I was closing with him and this really big order came through, so he's rushing around making the food and I'm taking the money and chatting with the customer outside the window. All of the sudden there's a loud bang followed by his cries of, "Are you kidding me?"
My head whipped around to look at him and I burst out laughing. You see the tartar sauce, mac sauce, etc. comes in these types of guns. Well when he was rushing to grab the tartar sauce, he dropped it. It shot tartar to the ceiling, and when Andrew turned around, arms raised in the universal signal of, "What the hell?" he had it all over his face and arm.
Mayo later found it's way on his other side, and he now hates closing. The kid is more clumsy than me, he doesn't belong so close to dangerous objects.

By the way, I was not mugged today. I know you were all wondering, but alas I was just too quick for the muggers of this small town, though I'll admit it was a close call. Maybe next time, huh?

They Found My Stash!

By they, I mean mom, and by stash I mean the books she doesn't want me reading, but hey the title, "Mom Found My Against the Rule Books!" isn't nearly as good, now is it?
So yeah, mom doesn't like me reading Nora Roberts type books, and I don't like being told what not to read, so I read them anyway. She found them, and my diary (which she read, but the jokes on her because I haven't written in that thing for months) under the bed while I was at a friends house talking about how I should rehide them because she was bound to look at them. Talk about bad timing.
Jeeze, it was horrible, but never fear, I had a plan of action; hide them in the trunk of my car. They can't stay there for long but whatever, I'll work on it. Maybe a take out a wall and hollow out a hiding spot? Somehow I think that would just really piss her off, a hole in the wall I mean.
In other news, I finished half of my homework...well half of half but that rounds up right? Yeah, thought so. I have to go to work in a few hours and I still have to shower, read (yes that's actually a part of my schedule, but I'm behind and need to catch back up with the schedule), and write a bit of that story like I promised my friend.

Does anyone else think that my life story is completely and utterly unfun? Maybe next time I can talk about a would-be mug....probably not, no one mugs you in small towns...so far anyway.

Starting Out

Someone once told me (by once I mean dozens of times, and by someone I mean at least a ten people) laughingly that I should write about my life. They laughed over whatever story I was telling and said, "You like writing fiction so much, but your life is just as funny. Write about that." So finally I thought, "Hey why not? No one will read it, but it might improve my writing skills."
Fiction is my greatest accomplishment, and I'll say right here and now that it sometimes slips in with the facts. Not enough to change my life, but just enough to make it more interesting. Since this is kind of like a prologue, I should introduce myself, huh?
Name? Don't need one because it doesn't matter. Occupation? Currently working drive through at McDonald's. Education? Finishing my senior year of high school, and taking two college courses. Family? Two sisters, a mom, a dad, mom's boyfriend, and a list of others, but it's way too long. Friends? Enough to not want to list them all.
Anything else? No? How unfortunate, I mean I had a list of useless facts to give you. My favorite color, names of all my past boyfriends (as if I had that many...three, that's all), etc. Now that I've sent you merrily down the path of boredom, I shall end this with a fare thee well, and wish you luck.